Being asked about one’s sexual history can be an uncomfortable and intrusive experience, especially when the question is as direct as “Are you a virgin?” Such inquiries often catch people off guard, leaving them unsure how to respond. While some may choose to answer honestly or deflect the question, others prefer to use humor as a defense mechanism.
This blog post explores a variety of witty and lighthearted responses to the question “Are you a virgin?” These clever comebacks serve multiple purposes: they can help diffuse awkward situations, assert personal boundaries, and even redirect the conversation to more appropriate topics.
Whether you’re looking for a way to handle this question with grace or simply enjoy clever wordplay, the examples provided here offer a range of options to suit different personalities and contexts.
In the following sections, we’ll examine several categories of humorous responses, from sarcastic quips to pop culture references, and discuss how to use them effectively. We’ll also touch on the importance of reading the room and knowing when humor is an appropriate strategy for handling such personal questions.
20 Funny Responses to “Are You a Virgin”
Here are 20 funny responses to the question, “Are you a virgin?”:
- “Define ‘virgin.’ Does that include video games?”
- “Only if you don’t count my past lives.”
- “I’m saving myself for pizza.”
- “Does being a superhero count?”
- “I’m not, but my WiFi is.”
- “I don’t kiss and tell, but I do snack and chat.”
- “No, but my car is.”
- “Only on weekdays.”
- “Yes, and I’m saving myself for Netflix.”
- “Depends on who’s asking.”
- “I’ve been to space and back, does that answer your question?”
- “Virgin? I’m more of an espresso.”
- “No, but my Amazon account is.”
- “Only when I’m talking to my mom.”
- “If I say yes, do I get a prize?”
- “Sure, if that helps you sleep at night.”
- “In some countries, I might be.”
- “I’m a virgin at heart.”
- “You mean like a virgin mojito?”
- “Not anymore, after this conversation!”
1. Define ‘virgin.’ Does that include video games? (Humorous Evasion)
This response humorously evades the personal question by redirecting it towards something more innocuous like video games. It showcases a playful way to avoid answering directly while still engaging in the conversation.
Usage examples:
When Ella questioned Leo about his romantic life, he quipped, “Define ‘virgin.’ Does that include video games?” sparking laughter among their friends.
2. Only if you don’t count my past lives. (Sarcastic)
This reply uses sarcasm to imply that if past lives were real, the answer might be different. It’s a witty way to sidestep the question by invoking the concept of reincarnation.
Usage examples:
During a heated debate about purity, Maya retorted, “Only if you don’t count my past lives.” leaving her peers chuckling.
3. I’m saving myself for pizza. (Light-hearted)
By substituting a serious subject for something universally loved like pizza, this answer diffuses the tension with humor and changes the topic to something more enjoyable.
Usage examples:
When pestered at a party about his love life, Sam joked, “I’m saving myself for pizza,” instantly breaking the ice.
4. Does being a superhero count? (Playful)
This response playfully suggests that being a superhero might affect one’s status as a virgin, blending fantasy with humor to divert from the personal nature of the question.
Usage examples:
At the comic book store, when asked if he had a girlfriend, Jasper responded, “Does being a superhero count?” earning a round of laughs.
5. I’m not, but my WiFi is. (Tech-savvy Humor)
Linking the concept of virginity to something as mundane as WiFi connectivity brings a tech-savvy twist to the joke, appealing to a more modern and geeky crowd.
Usage examples:
In an online chat, when the topic of relationships came up, Nina replied, “I’m not, but my WiFi is,” amusing her gamer friends.
6. I don’t kiss and tell, but I do snack and chat. (Clever Twist)
This answer cleverly shifts the focus from kissing to a more platonic activity, snacking, suggesting a preference for casual, non-intimate engagements.
Usage examples:
When his cousin teased him about his last date, Oliver retorted, “I don’t kiss and tell, but I do snack and chat,” smoothly steering the conversation elsewhere.
7. No, but my car is. (Unexpected)
Linking one’s personal status to an inanimate object like a car offers a humorous and unexpected twist to the answer, emphasizing the nonsensical nature of the original question.
Usage examples:
At the car wash, when a stranger made a cheeky comment, Diane shot back, “No, but my car is,” to the amusement of those around.
8. Only on weekdays. (Absurdity)
This reply plays with the absurd by implying that one’s status can change based on the day of the week, thus rendering the question itself somewhat ridiculous.
Usage examples:
In a casual office conversation, when asked about his weekend plans, Raj said, “Only on weekdays,” eliciting giggles from his coworkers.
9. Yes, and I’m saving myself for Netflix. (Pop Culture Reference)
Here, the notion of ‘saving oneself’ is humorously applied to binge-watching Netflix, making light of the concept by associating it with a common leisure activity.
Usage examples:
At a family gathering, when teased about his single status, Theo replied, “Yes, and I’m saving myself for Netflix,” which lightened the mood.
10. Depends on who’s asking. (Mystery)
This response introduces a layer of intrigue by suggesting that the answer might change depending on the inquirer, adding a playful but private edge to the reply.
Usage examples:
At a networking event, when Sophia was awkwardly quizzed about her personal life, she responded, “Depends on who’s asking,” deftly turning the tables.
11. I’ve been to space and back, does that answer your question? (Exaggerated)
This exaggerated claim humorously sidesteps the question by suggesting an outlandish achievement that overshadows the initial query, thus avoiding a direct answer while amusing the listener.
Usage examples:
When probed about his experiences at the college reunion, Nico answered, “I’ve been to space and back, does that answer your question?” drawing laughter from his old friends.
12. Virgin? I’m more of an espresso. (Clever Deflection)
This reply uses a witty play on words, comparing virginity to a type of coffee, to creatively deflect the personal question with a bit of humor related to daily life indulgences.
Usage examples:
At the local café, when a barista flirtatiously questioned Jenna, she responded, “Virgin? I’m more of an espresso,” charming everyone within earshot.
13. No, but my Amazon account is. (Modern Twist)
By associating the concept of virginity with an Amazon account, this answer brings a modern, tech-focused humor to the table, appealing to the digital age’s sensibilities.
Usage examples:
In a group chat about online shopping habits, Liz quipped, “No, but my Amazon account is,” earning chuckles from her tech-savvy friends.
14. Only when I’m talking to my mom. (Relatable)
This response humorously acknowledges the different personas one might adopt based on the audience, particularly with family, making it a relatable and witty comeback.
Usage examples:
During a family dinner, when his aunt got a bit too curious, Tom replied, “Only when I’m talking to my mom,” lightening up the conversation.
15. If I say yes, do I get a prize? (Playful Bargain)
This playful answer turns the table by suggesting that answering such a personal question might come with rewards, adding a game-like twist to the interaction.
Usage examples:
At a lively party game, when the question came around to Eric, he humorously bargained, “If I say yes, do I get a prize?” adding fun to the game.
16. Sure, if that helps you sleep at night. (Sarcastic Comfort)
This sarcastic reply implies that the answer might be adjusted just to appease the asker, highlighting the absurdity of the question with a comforting twist.
Usage examples:
When his nosy neighbor inquired about his status, Annabelle sarcastically assured, “Sure, if that helps you sleep at night,” shutting down further prying.
17. In some countries, I might be. (Cultural Play)
Playing with the idea that different cultures have different standards, this answer provides a humorous perspective on how such personal questions can vary widely in significance.
Usage examples:
At an international conference, when culturally curious questions arose, Ivan played along, “In some countries, I might be,” enriching the cultural exchange.
18. I’m a virgin at heart. (Sentimental Joke)
This response combines humor with a touch of sentiment, suggesting that while one may not be a virgin, they maintain a pure-hearted approach to life.
Usage examples:
At his best friend’s wedding, when cornered by old friends, Jeremy joked, “I’m a virgin at heart,” adding a sweet note to his toast.
19. You mean like a virgin mojito? (Cocktail Comparison)
This witty retort compares the personal inquiry to a popular non-alcoholic drink, making a clever connection that diverts the conversation towards lighter topics.
Usage examples:
At the office party, when the drinks were flowing and questions started, Rachel cleverly diverted, “You mean like a virgin mojito?” keeping the mood upbeat.
20. Not anymore, after this conversation! (Witty Comeback)
This cheeky reply suggests that the conversation itself has been an enlightening or transformative experience, humorously declaring an end to the questioned status.
Usage examples:
In a lively debate club meeting, when personal boundaries blurred, Derek wrapped it up with a smile, “Not anymore, after this conversation!” effectively closing the discussion with a laugh.