Being stood up can be a frustrating and disappointing experience. The sting of rejection is all too real when you’re left waiting alone at a restaurant or venue, checking your phone every few minutes for a message that never comes.
While it’s natural to feel upset in this situation, I’ve found that responding with humor can be a powerful way to cope and move forward. In this blog post, I’ll share some clever comebacks and witty one-liners you can use when someone leaves you high and dry.
These funny responses not only help you maintain your dignity but also showcase your resilience in the face of dating disappointments.
20 Funny Responses to Being Stood Up You Can Use
Here are 20 funny responses you could use if you find yourself being stood up:
- “Looks like I’ve got more wine for myself. Always a silver lining!”
- “Good news: I still had a great date with some pizza and my dignity.”
- “Guess I’ll be accepting my award for ‘Most Ghosted’ now.”
- “Well, at least my dog will never stand me up. Right, buddy?”
- “Table for one but laughs for a dozen, please!”
- “It’s cool, my imaginary friend filled in just fine!”
- “On the bright side, I didn’t have to share my dessert!”
- “Looks like I’ve been promoted to a party of one. Cheers to that!”
- “I guess this means I won’t be needing that mint after all.”
- “Who needs a date when you have unlimited breadsticks?”
- “Turns out I’m my own best company. Who knew?”
- “I always wanted an excuse to talk to myself in public!”
- “Here’s to an evening of unexpected self-care and Netflix.”
- “I brought a book, just in case my date was boring. Didn’t expect it to be non-existent!”
- “Good thing I love solitaire. It’s a date for one!”
- “Maybe my date got lost and found someone else? It’s a maze out there.”
- “Saved by the no-bell: didn’t even have to pretend to laugh at bad jokes.”
- “I told myself a joke. We both laughed.”
- “I guess the only thing getting picked up tonight is my spirits.”
- “I enjoyed a lovely evening of ghost stories. My date was the ghost!”
1. More Wine for Myself (Consolation Prize)
“Looks like I’ve got more wine for myself. Always a silver lining!” is a response that humorously finds consolation in having more wine to enjoy alone after being stood up.
This line is perfect for showing a carefree attitude and making light of the situation by focusing on the unexpected benefits.
Usage example:
When Emily’s date didn’t show, she texted her friend, “Looks like I’ve got more wine for myself. Always a silver lining!“
2. Pizza and Dignity (Self-Sufficient Date)
“Good news: I still had a great date with some pizza and my dignity.” uses humor to show self-sufficiency and contentment with one’s own company, emphasizing dignity and enjoyment of simple pleasures like pizza even when stood up.
Usage example:
After waiting for half an hour, Josh shrugged and thought, “Good news: I still had a great date with some pizza and my dignity.“
3. Most Ghosted Award (Self-Deprecating Humor)
“Guess I’ll be accepting my award for ‘Most Ghosted’ now.” employs self-deprecating humor to make light of being frequently stood up, suggesting a humorous award for such unfortunate occurrences.
Usage example:
Samantha laughed to herself and texted her sister, “Guess I’ll be accepting my award for ‘Most Ghosted’ now.“
4. Loyal Dog (Reliable Companionship)
“Well, at least my dog will never stand me up. Right, buddy?” highlights the reliability of a pet’s companionship compared to unreliable human dates, using this contrast to create a light-hearted jab at the no-show date.
Usage example:
Lonely at the park, Derek looked at his dog and said, “Well, at least my dog will never stand me up. Right, buddy?“
5. Laughs for a Dozen (Positive Spin)
“Table for one but laughs for a dozen, please!” creatively turns the situation into a joke, implying that even alone, one can enjoy the humor and absurdity of the situation enough for many people.
Usage example:
When the waiter approached, Grace grinned and requested, “Table for one, but laughs for a dozen, please!“
6. Imaginary Friend (Fictitious Company)
“It’s cool, my imaginary friend filled in just fine!” jests about having an imaginary friend as a backup date, playfully suggesting that not all companies have to be physical.
Usage example:
As Alex sat alone at the cafe, he whimsically mused, “It’s cool, my imaginary friend filled in just fine!“
7. More Dessert (Selfish Delight)
“On the bright side, I didn’t have to share my dessert!” turns the focus to the perks of dining alone, particularly enjoying a full dessert by oneself, which humorously suggests a silver lining in the absence of a date.
Usage example:
Lisa, having ordered the largest sundae, thought happily, “On the bright side, I didn’t have to share my dessert!“
8. Party of One (Celebratory Solitude)
“Looks like I’ve been promoted to a party of one. Cheers to that!” playfully treats dining alone as a promotion, celebrating solitude with a toast to oneself.
Usage example:
Toasting to her reflection in the mirror, Nora declared, “Looks like I’ve been promoted to a party of one. Cheers to that!“
9. No Need for Mint (Practical Relief)
“I guess this means I won’t be needing that mint after all.” uses practical humor to highlight a small but funny benefit of not having a close-contact encounter after the date.
Usage example:
Relieved in a way, Tom pocketed the mint and thought, “I guess this means I won’t be needing that mint after all.“
10. Unlimited Breadsticks (Food Over Dates)
“Who needs a date when you have unlimited breadsticks?” humorously prioritizes the joy of unlimited food over the presence of a date, suggesting that some restaurant perks outweigh human company.
Usage example:
Sitting comfortably in the booth, Elena declared, “Who needs a date when you have unlimited breadsticks?“
11. Best Company (Self-Love)
“Turns out I’m my own best company. Who knew?” expresses a cheerful realization of self-contentment, finding that one’s own company can be just as enjoyable, if not more so, than being with others.
Usage example:
Reflecting on the peaceful evening, Mike concluded, “Turns out I’m my own best company. Who knew?“
12. Excuse to Talk (Self-Amusement)
“I always wanted an excuse to talk to myself in public!” humorously justifies talking to oneself as a quirky benefit of being stood up, making light of what might otherwise be an awkward situation.
Usage example:
As he narrated his own actions for fun, Jacob chuckled, “I always wanted an excuse to talk to myself in public!“
13. Self-Care Evening (Positive Reclaiming)
“Here’s to an evening of unexpected self-care and Netflix.” frames a night alone as an opportunity for self-care and relaxation, choosing to view the absence of a date as a chance to indulge in personal time.
Usage example:
Unfazed, Anita poured herself a drink and toasted, “Here’s to an evening of unexpected self-care and Netflix.“
14. Book Companion (Intellectual Solace)
“I brought a book, just in case my date was boring. Didn’t expect it to be non-existent!” finds humor in being prepared for a dull date by bringing a book, only to find the book is the only company.
Usage example:
Settling into her chair, Claire opened her book and mused, “I brought a book, just in case my date was boring. Didn’t expect it to be non-existent!“
15. Solitaire Date (Game as Date)
“Good thing I love solitaire. It’s a date for one!” playfully suggests that playing a game of solitaire can substitute for a date, turning a situation of being stood up into an opportunity for enjoyable solitude.
Usage example:
Opening his phone to a game, Todd smiled and thought, “Good thing I love solitaire. It’s a date for one!“
16. Lost Date (Humorous Mystery)
“Maybe my date got lost and found someone else? It’s a maze out there.” jokes about the confusing nature of dating and the possibility that the date got lost, both literally and figuratively.
Usage example:
While scanning the crowd, Rachel joked to herself, “Maybe my date got lost and found someone else? It’s a maze out there.“
17. Saved by No-Bell (Relief from Pretense)
“Saved by the no-bell: didn’t even have to pretend to laugh at bad jokes.” celebrates the absence of a date as a relief from having to feign amusement, using a pun on ‘saved by the bell’ to enhance the humor.
Usage example:
Relaxing back into her chair, Tina reflected, “Saved by the no-bell: didn’t even have to pretend to laugh at bad jokes.“
18. Self-humor (Dual Enjoyment)
“I told myself a joke. We both laughed.” whimsically suggests that one can be both the teller and the audience of a joke, finding amusement in one’s own humor.
Usage example:
Sitting at the bar, Simon grinned and thought, “I told myself a joke. We both laughed.“
19. Spirits Lifted (Optimistic Outlook)
“I guess the only thing getting picked up tonight is my spirits.” uses a play on words to suggest that while the date might not have turned up, one’s spirits can still be uplifted through a positive outlook.
Usage example:
Feeling upbeat, Nora sipped her coffee and mused, “I guess the only thing getting picked up tonight is my spirits.“
20. Ghost Stories (Eerie Humor)
“I enjoyed a lovely evening of ghost stories. My date was the ghost!” creatively uses the concept of a ‘ghosting’ date to frame the evening as a time for ghost stories, adding a spooky twist to the humor.
Usage example:
As the evening grew darker, Evan laughed to himself, “I enjoyed a lovely evening of ghost stories. My date was the ghost!“