20 Funny Responses to “Don’t Let the Bedbugs Bite” (With Examples)

When someone says, “Don’t let the bedbugs bite” as a light-hearted goodnight wish, it might seem like just a quirky old saying. But for those with a quick wit, it’s an opportunity to deliver a funny comeback.

This saying, rooted in an old nursery rhyme, often leads to humorous exchanges that can add a chuckle to bedtime routines. This blog post’ll explore some of the most amusing retorts to “Don’t let the bedbugs bite”.

Whether you want to add a little humor to your night or just want to impress friends with your quick comebacks, these examples will provide plenty of inspiration.

20 Funny Responses to “Don’t Let the Bedbugs Bite”

Here are 20 funny responses to “don’t let the bedbugs bite”:

  1. “Too late, we already have a bedtime story deal!”
  2. “I won’t, but they’ve signed a lease, so no promises.”
  3. “I’ll try, but they throw such wild parties!”
  4. “Good thing I sleep in a suit of armor!”
  5. “I won’t, if they don’t hog the blankets again.”
  6. “Only if they agree to pay rent this time.”
  7. “But they just told me they’re gluten-free!”
  8. “I guess it’s time to negotiate with the mattress monsters.”
  9. “I told them I’m off limits after midnight!”
  10. “Can’t make any promises, they’ve got the upper hand after dark.”
  11. “They better not, I just got this bed bug-proof onesie!”
  12. “I’ll try, but you know how persuasive they can be.”
  13. “I keep telling them no pets allowed.”
  14. “They’re more afraid of me than I am of them… I hope.”
  15. “Not to worry, we sleep in shifts.”
  16. “Guess I’ll wear bug spray as perfume tonight!”
  17. “If they stay on their side of the bed, we’ll be fine.”
  18. “We’ve actually become quite good friends.”
  19. “That’s okay, I charged them rent.”
  20. “But it’s their favorite snack time!”

1. “Too late, we already have a bedtime story deal!”

This response is playfully cheeky and humorous. It suggests that the speaker has already made a pact with the bedbugs, implying a lighthearted relationship with them. The phrase is witty and works well in casual, friendly settings.

This response can create a fun, whimsical atmosphere and break the ice. It also acknowledges the ubiquity of bedbugs in a lighthearted manner. The response can be used to bond over shared experiences with pesky household pests.

Usage example:

When Sarah bid her roommate goodnight, her roommate joked, “Too late, we already have a bedtime story deal!” Sarah chuckled, knowing their apartment had a history of unwanted bedbug guests.

2. “I won’t, but they’ve signed a lease, so no promises.”

This response is playfully resigned and humorous. It suggests that the speaker has accepted the bedbugs’ presence and even implies they have some form of agreement. The phrase is clever and works well in casual, relatable situations.

This response can create a lighthearted and relatable atmosphere. It acknowledges the persistence of bedbugs in a witty manner. The response can be used to bond over shared experiences with the challenges of pest control.

Usage example:

When Tom’s friend warned him about potential bedbugs, he replied with a shrug, “I won’t, but they’ve signed a lease, so no promises.” Tom’s friend laughed, understanding the frustration of dealing with stubborn household pests.

3. “I’ll try, but they throw such wild parties!”

This response is playfully personified and humorous. It suggests that the speaker views the bedbugs as rowdy housemates rather than pests. The phrase is lighthearted and works well in casual, friendly settings.

This response can create a fun, whimsical atmosphere. It acknowledges the nuisance of bedbugs in a creative, personified manner. The response can be used to bond over shared experiences with the challenges of living with unwanted guests.

Usage example:

As Emma bid her friend goodbye for the night, her friend replied with a grin, “I’ll try, but they throw such wild parties!” Emma laughed, knowing their apartment had a history of bedbug infestations.

4. “Good thing I sleep in a suit of armor!”

This response is playfully exaggerated and humorous. It suggests that the speaker has taken extreme measures to protect themselves from bedbugs. The phrase is quirky and works well in casual, lighthearted situations.

This response can create an amusing, whimsical atmosphere. It acknowledges the threat of bedbugs in a creative, over-the-top manner. The response can be used to bond over shared experiences with the creative ways people try to deal with household pests.

Usage example:

When Liam’s friend wished him a good night’s sleep, Liam responded with a chuckle, “Good thing I sleep in a suit of armor!” Liam’s friend grinned, knowing their apartment complex had a history of bedbug problems.

5. “I won’t, if they don’t hog the blankets again.”

This response is playfully negotiating and humorous. It suggests that the speaker has made some form of agreement with the bedbugs regarding shared resources. The phrase is lighthearted and works well in casual, relatable situations.

This response can create a fun, relatable atmosphere. It acknowledges the inconvenience of bedbugs in a clever, tongue-in-cheek manner. The response can be used to bond over shared experiences with the frustrations of living with household pests.

Usage example:

As Lisa bade her roommate goodnight, her roommate replied, “I won’t, if they don’t hog the blankets again.” Lisa chuckled, knowing their apartment had been plagued by pesky bedbugs in the past.

6. “Only if they agree to pay rent this time.”

This response is playfully demanding and humorous. It suggests that the speaker has attempted to establish some form of rental agreement with the bedbugs. The phrase is clever and works well in casual, relatable situations.

This response can create a lighthearted, humorous atmosphere. It acknowledges the nuisance of bedbugs in a creative, tongue-in-cheek manner. The response can be used to bond over shared experiences with the challenges of dealing with unwanted household guests.

Usage example:

When Olivia’s friend wished her a good night’s sleep, she quipped, “Only if they agree to pay rent this time.” Olivia’s friend laughed, empathizing with the struggles of living with a bedbug infestation.

7. “But they just told me they’re gluten-free!”

This response is playfully absurd and humorous. It suggests that the speaker has engaged in dialogue with the bedbugs and that the bedbugs have dietary restrictions. The phrase is quirky and works well in casual, whimsical situations.

This response can create a lighthearted, surreal atmosphere. It acknowledges the anthropomorphization of bedbugs in a clever, absurdist manner. The response can be used to bond over shared experiences with the imaginative ways people cope with household pests.

Usage example:

As Jake bid his roommate goodnight, his roommate replied with a chuckle, “But they just told me they’re gluten-free!” Jake grinned, recognizing his roommate’s unique approach to dealing with their bedbug problem.

8. “I guess it’s time to negotiate with the mattress monsters.”

This response is playfully personified and humorous. It suggests that the speaker views the bedbugs as sentient creatures that require negotiation. The phrase is clever and works well in casual, relatable situations.

This response can create a lighthearted, whimsical atmosphere. It acknowledges the frustration of dealing with bedbugs in a creative, personified manner. The response can be used to bond over shared experiences with the challenges of pest control.

Usage example:

As Rachel bid her partner goodnight, he replied with a grin, “I guess it’s time to negotiate with the mattress monsters.” Rachel chuckled, understanding his creative approach to their ongoing bedbug problem.

9. “I told them I’m off limits after midnight!”

This response is playfully assertive and humorous. It suggests that the speaker has established boundaries with the bedbugs and is willing to enforce them. The phrase is quirky and works well in casual, relatable situations.

This response can create a lighthearted, humorous atmosphere. It acknowledges the persistence of bedbugs in a clever, self-assured manner. The response can be used to bond over shared experiences with the challenges of pest control.

Usage example:

When Emma’s friend wished her a good night’s sleep, she replied with a grin, “I told them I’m off limits after midnight!” Emma’s friend laughed, recognizing her determined approach to dealing with their bedbug problem.

10. “Can’t make any promises, they’ve got the upper hand after dark.”

This response is playfully resigned and humorous. It suggests that the speaker acknowledges the bedbugs’ dominance during the nighttime hours. The phrase is clever and works well in casual, relatable situations.

This response can create a lighthearted, empathetic atmosphere. It acknowledges the perceived power of bedbugs in a witty, self-deprecating manner. The response can be used to bond over shared experiences with the frustrations of dealing with household pests.

Usage example:

As Tom wished his roommate a good night’s sleep, his roommate replied with a shrug, “Can’t make any promises, they’ve got the upper hand after dark.” Tom chuckled, understanding the struggles of coexisting with an unwanted bedbug infestation.

11. “They better not, I just got this bed bug-proof onesie!”

This response is playful and quirky. It suggests the person has taken creative measures to protect themselves from bed bugs, such as wearing a special onesie. The phrase is lighthearted and works well in casual, friendly conversations.

This response can create a humorous, relatable atmosphere and spark further discussion about creative solutions to common problems. It acknowledges the annoyance of bed bugs in a whimsical manner, which can resonate with anyone who has dealt with similar infestations.

Usage example:

When Olivia’s roommate wished her goodnight, Olivia replied with a grin, “They better not, I just got this bed bug-proof onesie!” Her roommate chuckled, admiring Olivia’s innovative approach to ensuring a peaceful night’s sleep.

12. “I’ll try, but you know how persuasive they can be.”

This response is self-deprecating and playfully resigned. It suggests the person acknowledges the persistent nature of bed bugs and their difficulty in deterring them. The phrase is relatable and works well in casual conversations with friends or family members.

This response can create a lighthearted, empathetic atmosphere, as it acknowledges the shared struggle of dealing with these pests. It can elicit understanding and commiseration from those who have experienced similar challenges.

Usage example:

When Tom’s grandmother bid him goodnight, he replied with a sigh, “I’ll try, but you know how persuasive they can be.” His grandmother nodded sympathetically, remembering her own battles with stubborn bed bugs in the past.

13. “I keep telling them no pets allowed.”

This response is playfully anthropomorphic, treating bed bugs as if they were unwelcome guests or pets. The phrase is humorous and works well in casual, friendly settings.

This response can create a lighthearted, whimsical atmosphere, as it personifies the bed bugs in an amusing way. It acknowledges the frustration of dealing with unwanted pests, but does so in a creative, tongue-in-cheek manner that can resonate with others who have encountered similar situations.

Usage example:

As Sarah was getting ready for bed, her partner jokingly said, “I keep telling them no pets allowed.” Sarah chuckled, appreciating the clever way her partner humanized the bothersome bed bugs.

14. “They better not, I’m more afraid of them than they are of me… I hope.”

This response is self-deprecating and slightly anxious, but delivered in a humorous way. It suggests the person has a fear of bed bugs, even though they acknowledge it may be irrational. The phrase is relatable and works well in casual conversations with friends or family members.

This response can create a sense of camaraderie, as it acknowledges a common fear in a lighthearted manner. It can elicit understanding and shared laughter from those who have experienced similar apprehensions.

Usage example:

When Liam’s sister wished him goodnight, he replied with a nervous chuckle, “They better not, I’m more afraid of them than they are of me… I hope.” His sister smiled, knowing Liam’s aversion to the tiny pests.

15. “Not to worry, we sleep in shifts.”

This response is playfully exaggerated and humorous. It suggests the person has developed an unusual coping mechanism for dealing with bed bugs, such as taking turns sleeping to keep watch. The phrase is quirky and works well in casual, friendly conversations.

This response can create a lighthearted, absurdist atmosphere, as it imagines a scenario that is unlikely but amusing. It can spark further conversation and elicit laughter from those who appreciate creative problem-solving, even in the face of a nuisance like bed bugs.

Usage example:

As Emma was heading to bed, her roommate jokingly said, “Not to worry, we sleep in shifts.” Emma grinned, recognizing her roommate’s attempt to bring some levity to their ongoing battle with the pesky bed bugs.

16. “Guess I’ll wear bug spray as perfume tonight!”

This response is playful and resourceful, suggesting the person is willing to take extreme measures to deter bed bugs. The phrase is humorous and works well in casual, friendly settings.

This response can create a lighthearted, relatable atmosphere, as it acknowledges the frustration of dealing with bed bugs in a creative, tongue-in-cheek manner. It can resonate with those who have had to resort to unusual tactics to combat persistent pests.

Usage example:

 When Sarah’s friend wished her a good night’s sleep, she replied with a chuckle, “Guess I’ll wear bug spray as perfume tonight!” Sarah’s friend laughed, understanding the desperate measures one might take to keep bed bugs at bay.

17. “If they stay on their side of the bed, we’ll be fine.”

This response is playful and lightly confrontational, suggesting the person is willing to set boundaries with the bed bugs. The phrase is humorous and works well in casual, friendly conversations.

This response can create a lighthearted, relatable atmosphere, as it personifies the bed bugs and imagines a negotiation with them. It can elicit understanding and shared laughter from those who have had to find creative ways to coexist with unwanted pests.

Usage example:

As Tom was getting ready for bed, he told his partner, “If they stay on their side of the bed, we’ll be fine.” His partner chuckled, appreciating Tom’s attempt to establish some ground rules with the pesky bed bugs.

18. “We’ve actually become quite good friends.”

This response is playfully absurd and humorous, suggesting the person has developed an unlikely friendship with the bed bugs. The phrase is quirky and works well in casual, friendly settings.

This response can create a lighthearted, whimsical atmosphere, as it imagines a scenario that is highly unlikely but amusing. It can spark further conversation and elicit laughter from those who appreciate creative, imaginative humor.

Usage example:

When Olivia’s friend wished her a good night’s sleep, she replied with a straight face, “We’ve actually become quite good friends.” Olivia’s friend burst out laughing, recognizing the absurdity of the statement.

19. “That’s okay, I charged them rent.”

This response is playfully entrepreneurial and humorous, suggesting the person has found a way to monetize the presence of bed bugs. The phrase is clever and works well in casual, friendly conversations.

This response can create a lighthearted, clever atmosphere, as it imagines a scenario where the person has turned a nuisance into a source of income. It can resonate with those who appreciate a creative, resourceful approach to dealing with frustrating situations.

Usage example:

As Sarah was getting ready for bed, her partner jokingly said, “That’s okay, I charged them rent.” Sarah laughed, admiring her partner’s entrepreneurial spirit in the face of a bed bug infestation.

20. “But it’s their favorite snack time!”

This response is playfully absurd and humorous, suggesting the person has an unusual perspective on the presence of bed bugs. The phrase is quirky and works well in casual, friendly settings.

This response can create a lighthearted, whimsical atmosphere, as it imagines a scenario where the person empathizes with the bed bugs and their desire to feed. It can spark further conversation and elicit laughter from those who appreciate creative, imaginative humor.

Usage example:

When Tom’s friend wished him a good night’s sleep, he replied with a grin, “But it’s their favorite snack time!” Tom’s friend chuckled, recognizing the absurdity of the statement and Tom’s willingness to embrace a unique point of view.