When asked, “How was your weekend?” many of us default to a standard “Good, how about yours?” Yet, this routine exchange doesn’t have to be mundane.
Injecting humor can transform this simple interaction into a memorable exchange. In this blog post, we will explore funny responses to the question, “How was your weekend?”
By utilizing witty retorts, you can leave a lasting impression, entertain your listener, and perhaps even make someone’s day a bit brighter. Here are some creative and amusing examples to ensure your weekend recap stands out.
20 Funny Responses to “How Was Your Weekend”
Here’s a list of 20 funny responses to the question “How was your weekend?”:
- “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to erase your memory.”
- “Let’s just say my couch has never known me better!”
- “Aliens abducted me, so I’m still waiting for the weekend to start.”
- “You know, I’m still trying to piece it all together.”
- “Somewhere between ‘Netflix’ and ‘more Netflix.'”
- “I was an unproductive potato, and it was glorious.”
- “Imagine the best weekend you could have, then lower your expectations.”
- “I traveled to the living room and back—exotic, I know!”
- “I lived like a cat, and I have no regrets.”
- “It was a carbo-loading session… for a marathon I’m not running.”
- “Well, my plants are still alive, so I’d call it a success.”
- “I think my bed and I are in a serious relationship now.”
- “It was like a soap opera—minus the drama and with more snacks.”
- “Blink twice if you want the real story.”
- “I practiced a lot of ‘self-care,’ aka, eating snacks and ignoring responsibilities.”
- “It’s a secret between me and my fridge now.”
- “I’ve seen enough of my apartment to last me a lifetime.”
- “It was so exciting that I might write a book about it. It’ll be a short one.”
- “Well, I didn’t win the lottery, so there’s that.”
- “According to my pizza boxes, too short!”
1. “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to erase your memory.”
This mysterious response implies a secretive or exciting weekend. It playfully suggests that the events were so extraordinary or classified that sharing them would require memory erasure.
This response adds an air of intrigue and humor to the conversation, leaving the listener curious and amused. It’s a clever way to deflect the question while still engaging the other person. The response works well in casual settings or with friends who appreciate witty banter.
Usage example:
When Sarah asked Tom about his weekend, he replied with a smirk, “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to erase your memory.” She couldn’t help but laugh, wondering what mischief he’d gotten into.
2. “Let’s just say my couch has never known me better!”
This humorous response suggests a weekend of extreme laziness and relaxation. It personifies the couch, implying a close, intimate relationship between the person and their furniture.
This self-deprecating joke acknowledges the unproductive nature of the weekend while finding humor in it. It’s a relatable answer for anyone who’s had a lazy weekend and doesn’t want to admit it directly.
Usage example:
Jake’s colleague inquired about his weekend activities, to which he responded with a sheepish grin, “Let’s just say my couch has never known me better!” The office erupted in knowing laughter.
3. “Aliens abducted me, so I’m still waiting for the weekend to start.”
This outlandish response uses absurd humor to avoid answering the question directly. It suggests that the weekend was so uneventful or forgettable that it might as well not have happened at all.
The mention of alien abduction adds a touch of science fiction and whimsy to the conversation. This response works well for those who enjoy quirky or offbeat humor.
Usage example:
When Emily’s boss asked about her weekend, she deadpanned, “Aliens abducted me, so I’m still waiting for the weekend to start.” Her creative excuse brought a much-needed laugh to the Monday morning meeting.
4. “You know, I’m still trying to piece it all together.”
This response implies a wild or eventful weekend that was so intense or chaotic that the person is still processing what happened. It can suggest either a very exciting time or a confusing one, depending on the tone used.
This answer leaves room for interpretation and can spark curiosity in the listener, potentially leading to further conversation.
Usage example:
Mark ran into his neighbor at the grocery store, who asked about his weekend. With a puzzled look, Mark replied, “You know, I’m still trying to piece it all together.” His neighbor chuckled, wondering what adventures Mark had experienced.
5. “Somewhere between ‘Netflix’ and ‘more Netflix.'”
This response humorously admits to a weekend spent binge-watching shows or movies. It suggests a low-key, relaxing time at home, potentially with a touch of self-aware guilt about being unproductive. This answer is relatable to many people in the age of streaming services and can often elicit knowing laughs or nods of agreement.
Usage example:
When Lisa’s friend inquired about her weekend plans, she grinned and said, “Somewhere between ‘Netflix’ and ‘more Netflix.'” Her friend laughed, understanding the allure of a cozy weekend in.
6. “I was an unproductive potato, and it was glorious.”
This self-deprecating yet unapologetic response acknowledges a weekend of complete laziness. The use of “potato” as a metaphor for inactivity adds a touch of humor and relatability. The addition of “it was glorious” shows that the person embraces and enjoys their relaxation time, without feeling guilty about it.
Usage example:
Alex’s roommate asked how his weekend went, and he replied with a contented sigh, “I was an unproductive potato, and it was glorious.” His roommate couldn’t help but envy Alex’s ability to fully embrace relaxation.
7. “Imagine the best weekend you could have, then lower your expectations.”
This sarcastic response playfully suggests that the weekend was underwhelming or disappointing. It uses contrast between high expectations and reality for comedic effect. This answer can be a good way to break the ice or commiserate with others who might have had similarly uneventful weekends.
Usage example:
When Rachel’s coworker enthusiastically asked about her weekend, she replied dryly, “Imagine the best weekend you could have, then lower your expectations.” Her coworker burst out laughing, appreciating Rachel’s honest humor.
8. “I traveled to the living room and back—exotic, I know!”
This response exaggerates the mundanity of staying at home by comparing it to travel. It uses irony to highlight the contrast between the excitement of exotic travel and the reality of a weekend spent at home. This answer is particularly relevant in times when travel is limited or when someone chooses to have a quiet weekend in.
Usage example:
John’s friend called to hear about his weekend adventures. With a chuckle, John responded, “I traveled to the living room and back—exotic, I know!” His friend appreciated the creative spin on a stay-at-home weekend.
9. “I lived like a cat, and I have no regrets.”
This whimsical response compares the person’s weekend activities to the leisurely life of a house cat. It suggests a weekend filled with naps, lounging, and generally doing whatever one pleases. The phrase “no regrets” indicates that the person is content with their choices and doesn’t feel guilty about the relaxation.
Usage example:
Sophie’s sister called to catch up on Sunday evening. When asked about her weekend, Sophie purred, “I lived like a cat, and I have no regrets.” Her sister laughed, picturing Sophie curled up in various sunny spots around the house.
10. “It was a carbo-loading session… for a marathon I’m not running.”
This self-deprecating joke admits to a weekend of indulgent eating, particularly carbohydrates. The humorous twist comes from justifying it as preparation for a non-existent marathon. This response playfully acknowledges overeating while adding a touch of absurdist humor. It’s relatable for anyone who’s had a weekend of comfort food without the excuse of athletic preparation.
Usage example:
David’s gym buddy asked why he missed their weekend workout. David patted his stomach and quipped, “It was a carbo-loading session… for a marathon I’m not running.” His friend couldn’t help but laugh at the creative excuse.
11. “Well, my plants are still alive, so I’d call it a success.”
This understated response humorously sets a very low bar for what constitutes a successful weekend. It implies that the person didn’t do much beyond the bare minimum of keeping their plants alive. This answer works well for those who appreciate dry humor or want to downplay their weekend activities in a self-deprecating way.
Usage example:
When Maria’s mother inquired about her weekend accomplishments, Maria replied with a straight face, “Well, my plants are still alive, so I’d call it a success.” Her mother chuckled, appreciating Maria’s ability to find humor in the little things.
12. “I think my bed and I are in a serious relationship now.”
This personification of the bed suggests a weekend spent mostly sleeping or lounging. It humorously implies that the person spent so much time in bed that their relationship with it has become “serious.” This response is relatable to anyone who’s had a lazy weekend and can often elicit knowing laughs.
Usage example:
Kelly’s roommate noticed she hadn’t left her room much over the weekend and asked what was going on. Kelly emerged, yawning, and said, “I think my bed and I are in a serious relationship now.” Her roommate rolled her eyes but couldn’t help smiling at Kelly’s dedication to rest.
13. “It was like a soap opera—minus the drama and with more snacks.”
This response creates a humorous contrast between the excitement of a soap opera and the reality of a quiet weekend at home. It suggests a weekend filled with relaxation and snacking, possibly while watching TV. The comparison to a soap opera adds a touch of whimsy to an otherwise uneventful weekend.
Usage example:
When asked about his weekend plans, Chris replied with a grin, “It was like a soap opera—minus the drama and with more snacks.” His friends laughed, knowing Chris’s penchant for binge-watching shows with a generous supply of munchies.
14. “Blink twice if you want the real story.”
This mysterious and playful response implies that there’s more to the weekend than the person is willing to share openly. It creates an air of intrigue and secrecy, suggesting that exciting or scandalous events may have occurred. This answer can be a fun way to spark curiosity or add a touch of drama to the conversation.
Usage example:
At the water cooler, Jessica’s coworker casually asked about her weekend. With a mischievous smirk, Jessica leaned in and whispered, “Blink twice if you want the real story.” Her coworker’s eyes widened with curiosity, eager to hear more.
15. “I practiced a lot of ‘self-care,’ aka, eating snacks and ignoring responsibilities.”
This honest and humorous response redefines “self-care” in a relatable way. It acknowledges a weekend spent indulging and procrastinating, but frames it positively as taking care of oneself. This answer can resonate with many people who use weekends as a time to relax and temporarily escape their responsibilities.
Usage example:
When Ryan’s friend asked how he spent his weekend, Ryan shrugged and said, “I practiced a lot of ‘self-care,’ aka, eating snacks and ignoring responsibilities.” His friend nodded in understanding, having done the same himself many times.
16. “It’s a secret between me and my fridge now.”
This whimsical response personifies the fridge, implying a weekend spent mostly eating or snacking. It adds an element of secrecy and humor to what might otherwise be seen as overeating. This answer can be a lighthearted way to admit to a weekend of indulgence without going into details.
Usage example:
Linda’s sister called to chat about their weekends. When asked about hers, Linda patted her stomach and said with a wink, “It’s a secret between me and my fridge now.” Her sister laughed, knowing Linda’s love for experimenting with new recipes.
17. “I’ve seen enough of my apartment to last me a lifetime.”
This response humorously expresses frustration or boredom with staying at home. It implies a weekend spent entirely indoors, possibly due to bad weather, illness, or simply lack of plans. This answer can be relatable to anyone who’s had a stay-at-home weekend and is feeling a bit stir-crazy.
Usage example:
Mike’s neighbor bumped into him as he was finally leaving his apartment on Monday morning. When asked about his weekend, Mike sighed dramatically and said, “I’ve seen enough of my apartment to last me a lifetime.” His neighbor chuckled sympathetically, having experienced similar cabin fever.
18. “It was so exciting that I might write a book about it. It’ll be a short one.”
This sarcastic response uses irony to suggest that the weekend was actually quite uneventful. The contrast between the idea of writing a book and it being a short one adds humor to the situation. This answer can be a witty way to admit to a boring weekend without directly saying so.
Usage example:
Emma’s best friend called, eager to hear about her weekend adventures. Emma responded dryly, “It was so exciting that I might write a book about it. It’ll be a short one.” Her friend burst out laughing, appreciating Emma’s wit in the face of a dull weekend.
19. “Well, I didn’t win the lottery, so there’s that.”
This response uses understatement and a touch of sarcasm to imply that the weekend was unremarkable. By mentioning not winning the lottery, it sets an unrealistic standard for what would make a weekend exciting. This answer can be a humorous way to acknowledge that nothing particularly noteworthy happened.
Usage example:
When Peter’s cousin asked if anything exciting happened over the weekend, Peter shrugged and replied, “Well, I didn’t win the lottery, so there’s that.” His cousin grinned, appreciating Peter’s ability to find humor in the ordinary.
20. “According to my pizza boxes, too short!”
This clever response uses the number of pizza boxes as a humorous metric for measuring the weekend. It implies a weekend spent indulging in takeout food, possibly while watching TV or movies. This answer can be relatable to anyone who’s had a lazy weekend filled with comfort food.
Usage example:
Olivia’s roommate noticed the stack of pizza boxes in their kitchen and asked how her weekend was. Olivia glanced at the pile and quipped, “According to my pizza boxes, too short!” Her roommate couldn’t help but laugh at Olivia’s creative way of summing up her weekend indulgence.