Have you ever sent a text and been met with deafening silence? We’ve all been there – anxiously awaiting a reply that never comes, watching in agony as the “Read” notification taunts us.
Instead of obsessively checking your phone every three seconds, why not reply with a witty, sassy funny response instead?
In today’s fast-paced world of instant communication, not getting a response can feel like a slap in the face. But don’t take it personally – your friend probably just got abducted by aliens (or so you’ll tell them with your hilarious comeback). Keeping things light and avoiding anything too heavy or confrontational is key.
This blog post will give you 20 funny responses to use when someone doesn’t text back, along with real-life examples of seamlessly incorporating them into your texting game.
From charming one-liners to clever romantic jabs, these funny replies will get a smile (and hopefully a text back!). We’ll cover responses for friends, family, romantic interests, and even that one ghost from your dating app days.
So put down your phone, take a deep breath, and prepare to craft the perfect funny response that’ll have your pal giggling at their lack of text etiquette. Your patience (and joke arsenal) is about to be rewarded!
20 Funny Responses to Someone Who Doesn’t Text Back or Being Left on Read
Here are 20 funny responses to someone who doesn’t text back:
- “Just finished writing my memoir titled ‘Waiting for [Name]’s Text Back.’ Bestseller, for sure.”
- “I’ve aged a decade since I last heard from you. Should I include you in my will?”
- “Hello, this is your refrigerator speaking. Just wanted to say we miss you too.”
- “Currently accepting applications for new texting buddies. Previous one seems to have vanished!”
- “Breaking News: Local [Man/Woman] Awaits Text, World Holds Breath.”
- “Did you fall into a Wi-Fi-less abyss? Blink twice for ‘yes.'”
- “I’ve started talking to the plants about you. They’re just as concerned.”
- “If you respond in the next 5 minutes, you win a prize: another text from me!”
- “Our chat is so quiet, a tumbleweed just rolled through my phone screen.”
- “Rumor has it, if you don’t text back soon, your thumbs might retire early.”
- “I see you’re practicing for the ‘World’s Biggest Cliffhanger’ competition.”
- “Are we playing hide and seek? Because you’re really good at this!”
- “Texting you is like sending a letter by carrier pigeon. I hope it finds you well.”
- “If this were a text-back marathon, you’d definitely win… for longest time.”
- “I’m about to file a missing person report for you with the Texting Bureau.”
- “I think my phone’s broken. It doesn’t show your reply. Oh, wait…”
- “Our chat history is now a fossil record. Archaeologists will love this.”
- “I’m considering hiring a skywriter to get your attention. Too much?”
- “Should I send a search party or are you just trapped under a very heavy emoji?”
- “This silence is so profound, I think we just won an award for ‘Best Dramatic Pause.'”
1. “Just finished writing my memoir titled ‘Waiting for [Name]’s Text Back.’ Bestseller, for sure.”
This humorous response plays on the frustration of waiting for a reply by exaggerating the length of time it’s taking to get a response.
The idea of writing a memoir about the wait suggests it’s been a significant and lengthy experience, turning the delay into a comical life event.
It’s particularly effective when you want to nudge someone playfully about their slow responses without coming across as confrontational.
Usage examples:
- After three days without a word from Jake, I texted him, “Just finished writing my memoir titled ‘Waiting for Jake’s Text Back.’ Bestseller, for sure.“
- When Emily finally checked her phone, she found a message from her friend joking, “Just finished writing my memoir titled ‘Waiting for Emily’s Text Back.’ Bestseller, for sure.“
2. “I’ve aged a decade since I last heard from you. Should I include you in my will?”
This response uses hyperbole to humorously express how the long wait for a reply feels like it’s taken years, suggesting a significant passage of time.
The joke about including the non-responder in one’s will adds a layer of absurdity, implying that so much time has passed that life-altering decisions are being made.
Usage examples:
- In a lighthearted attempt to get a response, Sarah texted her brother, “I’ve aged a decade since I last heard from you. Should I include you in my will?“
- “I’ve aged a decade since I last heard from you. Should I include you in my will?” Mark wrote, trying to inject some humor into his long-awaited reply to his friend.
3. “Hello, this is your refrigerator speaking. Just wanted to say we miss you too.”
This funny reply anthropomorphizes an inanimate object, suggesting that even household appliances are feeling neglected due to the lack of communication.
It’s a creative way to highlight the silence from the other person’s end in a light-hearted manner, making it clear that the wait for a reply has been noticed but without direct criticism.
Usage examples:
- Feeling playful, Lisa texted her friend, “Hello, this is your refrigerator speaking. Just wanted to say we miss you too.”
- To break the ice after a period of silence, Alex sent, “Hello, this is your refrigerator speaking. Just wanted to say we miss you too.”
4. “Currently accepting applications for new texting buddies. Previous one seems to have vanished!”
This response humorously suggests moving on to find new friends to text because the current one is unresponsive.
The idea of “accepting applications” adds a formal twist to the situation, making the lack of response seem like a job vacancy that needs to be filled, which is amusingly disproportionate to the casual nature of texting.
Usage examples:
- After waiting a week for a reply, Jenna teased her friend, “Currently accepting applications for new texting buddies. Previous one seems to have vanished!“
- Kevin, trying to prompt a response from his quiet group chat, joked, “Currently accepting applications for new texting buddies. Previous one seems to have vanished!“
5. “Breaking News: Local [Man/Woman] Awaits Text, World Holds Breath.”
This humorous reply dramatizes the wait for a text response by comparing it to a news event of global significance, suggesting that the entire world is in suspense awaiting the reply.
It’s an effective way to playfully express impatience or to highlight the absurdity of waiting for a simple text message.
Usage examples:
- To gently chide her friend for not replying, Nora texted, “Breaking News: Local Woman Awaits Text, World Holds Breath.“
- With a flair for the dramatic, Tom sent his coworker, “Breaking News: Local Man Awaits Text, World Holds Breath.“
6. “Did you fall into a Wi-Fi-less abyss? Blink twice for ‘yes.'”
This response humorously suggests that the only plausible explanation for the lack of reply is that the person has somehow ended up in a place without any internet connection, akin to a mythical abyss. It’s a playful way to acknowledge the silence while imagining an absurd scenario where the person can only communicate through blinking.
Usage examples:
- After days of radio silence from her sister, Emma texted, “Did you fall into a Wi-Fi-less abyss? Blink twice for ‘yes.'”
- Trying to lighten the mood, Ryan sent his late-replier friend, “Did you fall into a Wi-Fi-less abyss? Blink twice for ‘yes.'”
7. “I’ve started talking to the plants about you. They’re just as concerned.”
This funny response takes a whimsical approach by suggesting that even the plants are worried due to the person’s lack of communication.
It’s an imaginative way to point out the prolonged silence, personifying plants to share in the concern, adding a layer of humor to the nudge for a reply.
Usage examples:
- Lara, wanting to bring a smile to her friend’s face, texted, “I’ve started talking to the plants about you. They’re just as concerned.“
- To tease his unresponsive friend, Derek wrote, “I’ve started talking to the plants about you. They’re just as concerned.“
8. “If you respond in the next 5 minutes, you win a prize: another text from me!”
This response humorously treats a reply as a timed contest, where the “prize” is simply more communication from the sender.
It’s a playful way to encourage a quick response by making a game out of texting, while the “prize” itself is amusingly anticlimactic.
Usage examples:
- To coax a quick reply from her friend, Monica sent, “If you respond in the next 5 minutes, you win a prize: another text from me!“
- Jordan, trying to rekindle a lapsed conversation, offered, “If you respond in the next 5 minutes, you win a prize: another text from me!“
9. “Our chat is so quiet, a tumbleweed just rolled through my phone screen.”
This funny remark uses the imagery of a tumbleweed, often associated with deserted, silent places in Western movies, to emphasize the lack of activity in the chat.
It’s a humorous way to point out the silence while invoking a visual joke that most people can relate to.
Usage examples:
- “Our chat is so quiet, a tumbleweed just rolled through my phone screen,” Clara joked, trying to revive the group chat.
- To highlight the prolonged silence, Matt texted his friend, “Our chat is so quiet, a tumbleweed just rolled through my phone screen.”
10. “Rumor has it, if you don’t text back soon, your thumbs might retire early.”
This response playfully suggests that the person’s thumbs might “retire” due to lack of use from not texting back.
It’s an amusing way to remind someone to reply by imagining their thumbs as having their own will and possibly taking early retirement due to inactivity.
Usage examples:
- Teasing her notoriously slow-to-respond friend, Sophie wrote, “Rumor has it, if you don’t text back soon, your thumbs might retire early.”
- In a light-hearted nudge for a response, Greg sent, “Rumor has it, if you don’t text back soon, your thumbs might retire early.”
11. “I see you’re practicing for the World’s Biggest Cliffhanger competition.”
This humorous response plays on the idea that the person’s failure to reply has left the conversation hanging, much like a cliffhanger in a story or TV show.
It amusingly suggests that their lack of response is so dramatic, it could be considered practice for a fictional competition in creating suspense.
Usage examples:
- Frustrated with the suspense, Tina texted her friend, “I see you’re practicing for the World’s Biggest Cliffhanger competition.”
- To highlight the abrupt pause in their chat, Dan joked, “I see you’re practicing for the World’s Biggest Cliffhanger competition.”
12. “Are we playing hide and seek? Because you’re really good at this!”
This response uses the classic game of hide and seek as a metaphor for the person’s absence or lack of communication.
It’s a light-hearted way to address the silence, complimenting the person’s ability to ‘hide’ from the conversation with the skill of a seasoned player.
Usage examples:
- Wondering why her message was met with silence, Rachel quipped, “Are we playing hide and seek? Because you’re really good at this!”
- To coax his friend into replying, Alex sent a playful nudge, “Are we playing hide and seek? Because you’re really good at this!”
13. “Texting you is like sending a letter by carrier pigeon. I hope it finds you well.”
This funny remark contrasts modern texting with the ancient method of using carrier pigeons for communication, humorously suggesting that sending a text to this person feels just as slow and uncertain as using a bird.
It’s a whimsical way to highlight the delay in response.
Usage examples:
- After days without a reply, Mia texted, “Texting you is like sending a letter by carrier pigeon. I hope it finds you well.”
- In a jest to his slow-to-respond friend, Oliver wrote, “Texting you is like sending a letter by carrier pigeon. I hope it finds you well.”
14. “If this were a text-back marathon, you’d definitely win… for longest time.”
This response humorously likens the delay in replying to a marathon, but instead of rewarding speed, this fictional marathon would reward taking the longest time.
It’s a playful way to comment on the person’s slow response time by framing it as a winning strategy in a humorous competition.
Usage examples:
- Impatiently waiting for a reply, Nora teased, “If this were a text-back marathon, you’d definitely win… for longest time.”
- Trying to prompt a faster response, Ethan joked, “If this were a text-back marathon, you’d definitely win… for longest time.”
15. “I’m about to file a missing person report for you with the Texting Bureau.”
This humorous response exaggerates the concern for the person’s lack of replies by suggesting that their silence is so unusual, that it might warrant filing a missing person report with a fictional “Texting Bureau.”
It’s a playful way to express the desire for a response while keeping the tone light and funny.
Usage examples:
- Concerned by her friend’s unusual silence, Jenna joked, “I’m about to file a missing person report for you with the Texting Bureau.”
- In an attempt to rekindle the conversation, Mark humorously threatened, “I’m about to file a missing person report for you with the Texting Bureau.”
16. “I think my phone’s broken. It doesn’t show your reply. Oh, wait…”
This witty response feigns a moment of concern that there might be a technical issue with the phone not displaying messages, only to playfully reveal that the real issue is the lack of a reply.
It’s a clever way to nudge the other person for a response without directly stating that they haven’t replied.
Usage examples:
- After a prolonged silence, Lisa sent a message saying, “I think my phone’s broken. It doesn’t show your reply. Oh, wait…“
- In a humorous attempt to get his friend’s attention, Tom texted, “I think my phone’s broken. It doesn’t show your reply. Oh, wait…“
17. “Our chat history is now a fossil record. Archaeologists will love this.”
This response humorously suggests that the conversation has been inactive for so long that it has become ancient history, likening the chat history to a fossil record that would intrigue archaeologists.
It’s a playful way to highlight the extended period of silence in the conversation.
Usage examples:
- To tease her friend about the lack of recent messages, Emily wrote, “Our chat history is now a fossil record. Archaeologists will love this.”
- Joking about the duration since their last exchange, Nick sent, “Our chat history is now a fossil record. Archaeologists will love this.”
18. “I’m considering hiring a skywriter to get your attention. Too much?”
This playful response exaggerates the efforts one might go to in order to get a reply by suggesting the use of a skywriter, an airplane that creates readable messages in the sky.
It humorously implies that such grand gestures might be necessary to capture the attention of the non-responder.
Usage examples:
- In a lighthearted attempt to prompt a reply, Sarah texted, “I’m considering hiring a skywriter to get your attention. Too much?”
- To express his playful frustration at not getting a response, Greg mentioned, “I’m considering hiring a skywriter to get your attention. Too much?”
19. “Should I send a search party or are you just trapped under a very heavy emoji?”
This funny remark imagines a scenario where the reason for not replying could be as absurd as being trapped under a heavy emoji, suggesting a search party might be needed.
It’s a whimsical way to address the silence by inventing a humorous and imaginative excuse for the lack of communication.
Usage examples:
- Wondering why her message was ignored, Claire quipped, “Should I send a search party or are you just trapped under a very heavy emoji?”
- To break the silence humorously, Mike asked, “Should I send a search party or are you just trapped under a very heavy emoji?”
20. “This silence is so profound, I think we just won an award for Best Dramatic Pause.”
This witty response treats the absence of replies as a deliberate dramatic pause, humorously suggesting that the silence is so significant it could win an award.
It’s a playful way to acknowledge the lack of communication while framing it as an artistic choice rather than a lapse.
Usage examples:
- Trying to inject some humor into the situation, Anna texted, “This silence is so profound, I think we just won an award for Best Dramatic Pause.”
- To lighten the mood, Ethan sent a message saying, “This silence is so profound, I think we just won an award for Best Dramatic Pause.”