Being asked “When are you having a baby?” can be an awkward and sometimes uncomfortable situation, especially if it’s a question you’ve been hearing a lot. Whether it comes from well-meaning family members, curious friends, or even casual acquaintances, this question can often feel intrusive and pressure-filled.
Fortunately, there are ways to handle it with humor and grace. In this blog post, we’ll explore some funny responses to “When are you having a baby?” that can help you deflect the question while keeping the conversation light-hearted.
These witty comebacks are perfect for anyone looking to add a bit of humor to an otherwise delicate topic, allowing you to maintain your privacy and sanity with a smile.
20 Funny Responses to “When Are You Having a Baby”
Here are 20 humorous responses when someone asks, “When are you having a baby?”
- “I’m still practicing how to keep a plant alive, so maybe after that!”
- “When I can afford to sleep till noon again.”
- “Why, is there a baby shortage?”
- “Oh, I thought you were asking to babysit!”
- “I’m not sure, but I just got a new couch, so not soon!”
- “We’re hoping to have a dog first, then we’ll see about a baby.”
- “As soon as I can figure out how to get a full eight hours of sleep again.”
- “We’re still trying to decide if we can handle a goldfish.”
- “I think you have me confused with someone else.”
- “Right after we finish all the seasons of our favorite series.”
- “When I stop crying at diaper commercials.”
- “Let me check my schedule… Hmm, looks like I’m booked till 2045.”
- “I’m actually more interested in when I’m having pizza next.”
- “When people stop asking, that’s when!”
- “Once I’m sure they’ve fixed all the bugs in kids these days.”
- “We’re waiting to see if the stork accepts our friend request.”
- “After I master the art of cooking more than microwave meals.”
- “Are you volunteering to pay for college?”
- “When my horoscope says it’s a good idea.”
- “Once I can trust them not to eat crayons.”
1. “I’m still practicing how to keep a plant alive, so maybe after that!”
This response is a humorous way to deflect the question by implying that taking care of a baby is far more challenging than taking care of a plant. It suggests that if the person can’t even keep a plant alive, they’re not ready for a baby yet.
It adds a light-hearted spin by equating the care of a plant to that of a baby, making it clear that the person isn’t quite there yet in terms of responsibility.
Example:
When Sarah was asked, “When are you having a baby?” she chuckled and said, “I’m still practicing how to keep a plant alive, so maybe after that!”
2. “When I can afford to sleep till noon again.”
This response plays on the well-known fact that having a baby often means losing sleep. It humorously implies that the person values their sleep too much to consider having a baby right now.
The exaggeration of wanting to sleep until noon highlights how much they enjoy their current lifestyle, without the responsibilities of a child.
Example:
Mark laughed when asked about having a baby, replying, “When I can afford to sleep till noon again.”
3. “Why, is there a baby shortage?”
This witty response flips the question on its head, making the asker question why they are so concerned about it. By suggesting a “shortage,” it humorously implies that there is no rush, and perhaps even that the question is unnecessary. It’s a clever way to change the subject while also poking fun at the societal pressure to have children.
Example:
When Jenna was asked about her baby plans, she smirked and said, “Why, is there a baby shortage?”
4. “Oh, I thought you were asking to babysit!”
This response uses misdirection to suggest that the person misunderstood the question. By implying that the asker was offering to babysit, it turns the question into a joke about the asker being overly eager to help. It also subtly shifts the focus away from when the person will have a baby to who will take care of it.
Example:
Claire responded to the baby question with a grin, “Oh, I thought you were asking to babysit!”
5. “I’m not sure, but I just got a new couch, so not soon!”
This response humorously prioritizes material possessions over the idea of having a baby. It suggests that the person is more excited about their new couch than about starting a family, emphasizing their current enjoyment of a child-free lifestyle. The new couch becomes a symbol of comfort that they are not ready to give up just yet.
Example:
When asked about having kids, Alex joked, “I’m not sure, but I just got a new couch, so not soon!”
6. “We’re hoping to have a dog first, then we’ll see about a baby.”
This response cleverly positions getting a dog as a precursor to having a baby. It’s a light-hearted way to say that the person is considering a pet before a child, which can be seen as a stepping stone in responsibility.
It also implies that having a baby is a serious step that they’re not quite ready for, making it a gentle way to delay the conversation.
Example:
Emily responded to baby inquiries with a laugh, saying, “We’re hoping to have a dog first, then we’ll see about a baby.”
7. “As soon as I can figure out how to get a full eight hours of sleep again.”
This response humorously acknowledges the sleep deprivation that comes with having a baby. It implies that the person is currently enjoying their rest too much to consider disrupting it with a newborn.
The focus on sleep emphasizes how much they value their current lifestyle, making it clear they’re not rushing into parenthood.
Example:
When asked when she’d have a baby, Lily quipped, “As soon as I can figure out how to get a full eight hours of sleep again.”
8. “We’re still trying to decide if we can handle a goldfish.”
This response downplays the idea of having a baby by comparing it to the care of a goldfish, which is much less demanding. It humorously suggests that the person is taking baby steps (literally) in terms of responsibility and isn’t quite ready for the leap to parenthood.
It’s a playful way to deflect the question while implying they’re still in the early stages of preparing for any kind of responsibility.
Example:
When asked about baby plans, Ben joked, “We’re still trying to decide if we can handle a goldfish.”
9. “I think you have me confused with someone else.”
This response humorously suggests that the question is so out of place that the asker must be confusing the person with someone who is more likely to have a baby soon. It’s a playful way to express that the idea of having a baby isn’t even on their radar, effectively dodging the question while getting a laugh.
Example:
When Anna was questioned about babies, she smiled and said, “I think you have me confused with someone else.”
10. “Right after we finish all the seasons of our favorite series.”
This response humorously implies that the person’s current priority is binge-watching TV shows, not having a baby.
It suggests that starting a family is a distant consideration, something that will only happen once they’ve run out of other, more enjoyable things to do. It’s a light-hearted way to emphasize how content they are with their current lifestyle.
Example:
When asked about baby plans, Tom laughed and said, “Right after we finish all the seasons of our favorite series.”
11. “When I stop crying at diaper commercials.”
This response is a funny way to indicate that the person is emotionally overwhelmed by the idea of having a baby. By saying they cry at diaper commercials, it implies that the concept of parenthood is still too intense for them. It’s a humorous way to express that they’re not emotionally ready to consider having a baby just yet.
Example:
When asked about having kids, Mia joked, “When I stop crying at diaper commercials.”
12. “Let me check my schedule… Hmm, looks like I’m booked till 2045.”
This response humorously exaggerates the person’s busy schedule as a reason for not having a baby. It suggests that they’re so busy with their current life that they won’t have time to consider having a baby for a very long time.
The exaggerated date adds a comedic touch, making it clear that they’re not planning on having kids anytime soon.
Example:
When asked about having a baby, Jack smirked and said, “Let me check my schedule… Hmm, looks like I’m booked till 2045.”
13. “I’m actually more interested in when I’m having pizza next.”
This response humorously shifts the focus from having a baby to something much more immediate and satisfying: pizza.
It’s a playful way to suggest that the person’s priorities are far from starting a family and are more focused on simple pleasures. It’s a light-hearted way to deflect the question while also making the asker smile.
Example:
When questioned about baby plans, Lucy laughed and said, “I’m actually more interested in when I’m having pizza next.”
14. “When people stop asking, that’s when!”
This response humorously suggests that the constant questioning is actually delaying any baby plans. It playfully turns the question around, implying that if people stopped asking, then maybe it would happen sooner. It’s a fun way to express frustration with the repeated inquiries while also making a joke out of it.
Example:
When asked once again about having kids, Olivia grinned and said, “When people stop asking, that’s when!”
15. “Once I’m sure they’ve fixed all the bugs in kids these days.”
This response uses tech language to humorously suggest that the person is waiting for a “better version” of kids. It’s a playful way to express that they’re not ready for the potential challenges of raising a child. The use of “bugs” as a metaphor for the difficulties of parenthood adds a light-hearted spin to the conversation.
Example:
When asked about baby plans, Jake laughed and replied, “Once I’m sure they’ve fixed all the bugs in kids these days.”
16. “We’re waiting to see if the stork accepts our friend request.”
This response uses the old myth of the stork delivering babies to create a funny scenario where the person is waiting for the stork to “accept their friend request.” It’s a playful way to deflect the question by pretending to wait on a fictional creature, adding a whimsical touch to the conversation.
Example:
When asked about having kids, Emma chuckled and said, “We’re waiting to see if the stork accepts our friend request.”
17. “After I master the art of cooking more than microwave meals.”
This response humorously suggests that the person needs to improve their basic life skills before even thinking about having a baby. It implies that they’re not yet responsible or mature enough to take on the challenge of parenthood, using cooking as a metaphor for general readiness.
Example:
When asked when she’d have a baby, Hannah joked, “After I master the art of cooking more than microwave meals.”
18. “Are you volunteering to pay for college?”
This response humorously shifts the financial burden of having a child onto the asker, making them reconsider their question.
It’s a playful way to highlight the cost of raising a child, while also making it clear that the person is aware of the serious responsibilities involved.
Example:
When asked about having a baby, Ryan grinned and said, “Are you volunteering to pay for college?”
19. “When my horoscope says it’s a good idea.”
This response humorously suggests that the person is waiting for astrological approval before having a baby. It’s a light-hearted way to delay the conversation by implying that they’re leaving such a big decision up to the stars, adding a whimsical touch to the situation.
Example:
When asked about baby plans, Zoe laughed and said, “When my horoscope says it’s a good idea.”
20. “Once I can trust them not to eat crayons.”
This response humorously suggests that the person is concerned about the practical challenges of raising a child, specifically the stage when kids put everything in their mouths. It’s a playful way to express that they’re not ready to deal with the messiness of parenting just yet.
Example:
When questioned about having kids, David joked, “Once I can trust them not to eat crayons.”